Birthday Tea

It's birthday season. It seems like everyone I know has a birthday in the early spring or early fall/late summer. I had saved the red card stock from a box of tea that was given to me. I'm not a huge fan of green tea, but this brand was quite good. And the box was very pretty. I wasn't sure how to use it, as it would be rather difficult to make a card for "happy green tea bags" day, but I think the patchwork turned out well. However, now that it is finished I wish that I had reversed the patching (patched the red on top of the yellow.) But it still shows off the beautiful, shiny flower pattern. The back of the card (not shown) is the bottom of the tea box so it shows the info on the product. I toyed with the idea of covering this up, but decided not to. It would have added too much bulk and I think that leaving the back raw leaves a little character. I love incorporating "recycled" things into my cards. It brings a special uniqueness that can't be created with just store bought paper.

Giving Thanks

Since it's been over a year from the last time I made a greeting card, I figured that a thank you card would be appropriate. I loved the way the blue vellum over the red card stock created a soft, warm purple hue. I need to increase my selection of brads, as I only have a stash of red and blue. They are such an easy way to dress up a stacking and keep everything together.

Life Lessons from SVU

One of my favorite TV shows is Law & Order SVU. I can watch episode after episode and watch the same episode over and over. I'm pretty close to knowing the script for most of the seasons. So, what's the draw? Am I abnormally obsessed with rape, molestation and incest? Hardly. Mostly, I am attracted to the bonds formed between the members of the unit and the way each character responds to the cases they handle. Granted, prime time T.V. is not the most epic example of character development. After about the third season it is fairly easy to pick up on the individuals' values and predict how they will react to certain situations. Despite their personal feelings, the detectives are usually upstanding civil servants and maintain an objective call to duty and equality. But that's not the biggest hook for me. The real catch is the unshakable relationship between Elliott Stabler and Olivia Benson. These two lead detectives offer an beautiful example of loyalty and respect that, it seems, is lacking in many of T.V.'s romantic relationships. Can, or should, a working relationship be an example for a romantic one? I think so. I think it would be better to idolize the integrity of Liv and El in SVU rather than the passionate spontaneity of, say, Rose and Jack in Titanic. SVU's leading characters for twelve years act out of dedication rather than blind affection when it comes to difficult situations. There are many other examples of this sort of relationship. For example, the two lead detectives in AMC's The Killing, Sarah Linden and Stephen Holder. The series begins with two characters who have no interest in anything more than getting the job done, and grow to have a great amount of empathy for each other. I suppose it's natural for this to happen when two people work together... and maybe that is the lesson. Although Liv and El never did end up "together" (mainly, I'm guessing, because the writers already married Elliott off long before season one), it seems like their work created the right foundation for a lifelong relationship. And yes, I cried a little when Elliott left the show. So maybe this could be a good starting point for rebuilding a broken bond; to actually work together. Work towards a goal besides fixing what's emotionally broken. Form a bond of love from a bond created through effort towards something else. You might get so lost in the distracting work that you could forget about the things that work against you.

Observation of the Past, in Human Form

Isn't it nice when you get to see old acquaintances? Well, sometimes. More often then not, it seems awkward. Especially if it is unexpected. Expected reunions are much easier to handle for obvious reasons. You can prepare yourself for the meeting; put on your happy face and recall all the important details of the past ten years of your life in order to eloquently relay them when the other person asks (which they will) and you can imagine the acknowledgments that you will give to the similar questions that they will ask of you ("that's nice," "oh, that's wonderful," "good for you," and "that's life.") Then there's that uneasy moment when you see someone from your past who you were not expecting to see. Maybe you're at the pharmacy picking up a prescription for your embarrassing aliment. Maybe you're walking out of the DMV after dealing with the mean clerk who takes the worst license photos. You might even see someone from your church at the local bar while you're catching up with the bartender who you know on a first-name basis. Of course you're not wondering why they are out on a Tuesday night. You're wondering if they recognize you and if they can tell that you are sloshed at eleven P.M. on a weekday. The first line of defense is to hide your face with your hand and start up a conversation with someone next to you. Thankfully, the lights are dim and the music is loud and distracting (it is the local dive, after all) and you can usually spend about five minutes "hiding." A pep talk to yourself has definitely begun and it can be organized by the odds. Odds are they don't recognize me. Odds are they are just as embarrassed and won't come over to say "hi." Odds are they will soon see how sleazy this place is and they will leave before any of those other possibilities even come into play. And, speaking of play, there's a game on TV. Yes. You came out to watch the game.
So maybe you've successfully avoided the not-so-stranger. If not, your best bet is to be friendly. And you will be because you can't very easily hide once they have recognized you. Even if they do remember your name, they introduce themselves as if you don't remember them. (At this point, it's obvious that you have been avoiding them.) So there's the usual. "How are you." "Fine, and you?" "I'm good, thanks." "What are you up to these days?" ... And the pleasantries will likely lead into some sort of normalcy. You've succeeded in holding it together, and for the rest of the night, you can smile if you pass them on the way out and say "goodnight" and all will be well.
But then again, maybe it is also obvious that you are sitting alone at the bar, and your rekindled familiarity will open the door to a game of pool, or darts, or the offer of a free drink. The free drink is the worst. A game of pool is your best option. See, pool tables were created to be just the size they are because two people standing on either side of one can observe their opponent without being so far away as to be considered a germophobe. There is usually a convenient light above the table that will deflect unwanted direct eye contact. It's the perfect alternative to simply making small talk all night. And in the absence of conversation, there's an opportunity for a little introspection (although it may be frowned upon to do so while tipsy.) He is probably scanning you as well, gathering tidbits of information from a question here and there, analyzing the shots you take and the shots you don't attempt. Sure, you've had your bit of adolescent fun, some crazy nights, some close calls, but when you start picking up on where he has been for the past few years (or decades)... you are bound to come across some shockers. Maybe he's served a stint in jail, or has a few kids and you're subtracting numbers to figure out how old he was then... but whatever comes up, you can't help but compare your life to theirs.
How is it that two people can cross paths so long ago, and have grown up in such similar environments, and veer so far from each other in a short period of time? Or possibly you aren't as different as it first appears. Circumstances can affect everyone in different ways, or perhaps the in the same way with different consequences. Each person's experience may be different, but I'm sure that at least a brief moment of your time will be spent comparing (if you will) yourself to them. Just like any other meeting, you're looking for similarities to find common ground. But you also notice the differences. It's hard not too, with your previous memory of this person as someone like you. Someone so similar. And yet now... seeming so different.

How to Create an Effective Online Dating Profile

With all of the dating profiles out there, it would seem that those who are serious would try to make their profiles as polished and appealing as possible. I'm forever amazed by the amount of profiles that are severely lacking in substance, pizzazz, or just plain common decency. So here I am to offer a little advice to those who venture on their maiden voyage into the virtual bar scene. 

1. Don't post creeper photos. Seriously. We all know what a pedophile or rapist looks like. We've all watched To Catch a Predator and, although we may not be able to put a name with a face that was featured on America's Most Wanted, we can spot the type in a crowd. If you really are a creeper, I can offer no advice. But if you are not, you can still get stuck with a photo that looks like a mug shot. Usually these resemble the plethora of photos that your friends tag you in on facebook. You usually don't remember having them taken and although you may think that it's a flattering angle, you'd just have to put a height scale in the background for it to be your profile shot. If you can't judge your photos objectively without vainly thinking that you look gorgeous in every one, have a trusted ally preview  them before you upload. Please. You will save the anonymous tip line from a major headache. And speaking of friends, let's move on to tip number two.

2. Try to look single. You are on a dating site. You are looking for a potential mate. This implies that you have not already found the perfect woman. So if your scrapbook of photos includes even one shot of you and some of your "friends" and they are all beautiful women, you have failed. If you are trying to set your standards by giving an example of the type of women you consider acceptable to be seem in public with, that's not the way to do it. A woman who views that photo of you (probably looking dorky and starstruck) has already compared herself to those women. More likely than not, she has decided that that is too much competition and she will move on. What's worse than you and your entourage of bombshells? You are your "best friend" who looks much more like your babe than your bro. These photos are usually accompanied by a caption such as "my best friend and I. We're like bother and sister." Oh yeah? That's what they call it now? In addition to the previous argument, any woman who views this photo and reads the caption will also be confronted with the inevitable scrutiny of this girl should she ever meet you. Sisters are ok. Friends like sisters are much more of an obstacle. Must I explain why a photo of you with the entire staff of Hooters girls is a bad idea?

3. Make yourself desirable. You would think that this would be easy. You're single! You're young! You're putting yourself out there! You.... have no job????? Do you know what Monster.com is? I think your internet positioning system needs to be re-calibrated. Women don't want a man who is unemployed. Unless you have your life in order, you're not allowed to bask in the order of a woman's life. This is not to say that women don't understand the current state of affairs and can't accept setbacks. However, if what you put into words on a webpage is all you have to go on, you have to make it jump out and grab that special someone. Most women worth dating have the same basic expectations of men, and one of those is that he must have a job. Sure, if you meet her at a coffee shop and you turn on your charm and wit and you are looking especially dapper, she may talk to you long enough to be able to look past your broke "I'm drinking water because it's healthy" status. But this is online dating. Chances are that prospective mates are scanning over your profile quickly and as soon as they see the word "unemployed" or they read "I'm a free spirit" they will move on. So all those boxes that the website asks you to fill out to give other users a snapshot of "you" are important. Fill them out! There shouldn't even be a section entitled "get to know me first" or "prefer not to answer." Those translate into "I'm ashamed to admit because I'm really a loser and I can't even answer a simple question." It's not mysterious. It's a waste of our time.

I think three points are enough for tonight. Obviously, this won't guarantee that your inbox will be overflowing by tomorrow, but it will keep you from wasting the time of many lonely girls. Think of these as your stepping stones to your dating career! Cheers!

Death Be Not Proud by John Donne

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill mee.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.

Schindler: People die, it's a fact of life. He wants to kill everybody? Great, what am I supposed to do about it? Bring everybody over? Is that what you think? Send them over to Schindler, send them all. His place is a 'haven,' didn't you know? It's not a factory, it's not an enterprise of any kind, it's a haven for rabbis and orphans and people with no skills whatsoever. You think I don't know what you're doing? You're so quiet all the time. I know. I know.

Stern: Are you losing money?

Schindler: No, I'm not losing money, that's not the point.

Stern: What other point is -

Schindler: (interrupting) It's dangerous! It's dangerous to me. You have to understand, Goeth is under enormous pressure. You have to think of it in his situation. He's got this whole place to run, he's responsible for everything that goes on here, all these people - he's got a lot of things to worry about. And he's got the war. Which brings out the worst in people. Never the good, always the bad. Always the bad. But in normal circumstances, he wouldn't be like this. He'd be all right. There'd just be the good aspects of him - which - he's a wonderful crook. A man who loves good food, good wine, the ladies, making money -

Stern: - killing -

Schindler: He can't enjoy it....What do you want me to do about it?

Stern: Nothing, nothing. We're just talking.

Schindler: (He pulls out a slip of paper and reads a name) - Perlman.