With all of the dating profiles out there, it would seem that those who are serious would try to make their profiles as polished and appealing as possible. I'm forever amazed by the amount of profiles that are severely lacking in substance, pizzazz, or just plain common decency. So here I am to offer a little advice to those who venture on their maiden voyage into the virtual bar scene.
1. Don't post creeper photos. Seriously. We all know what a pedophile or rapist looks like. We've all watched To Catch a Predator and, although we may not be able to put a name with a face that was featured on America's Most Wanted, we can spot the type in a crowd. If you really are a creeper, I can offer no advice. But if you are not, you can still get stuck with a photo that looks like a mug shot. Usually these resemble the plethora of photos that your friends tag you in on facebook. You usually don't remember having them taken and although you may think that it's a flattering angle, you'd just have to put a height scale in the background for it to be your profile shot. If you can't judge your photos objectively without vainly thinking that you look gorgeous in every one, have a trusted ally preview them before you upload. Please. You will save the anonymous tip line from a major headache. And speaking of friends, let's move on to tip number two.
2. Try to look single. You are on a dating site. You are looking for a potential mate. This implies that you have not already found the perfect woman. So if your scrapbook of photos includes even one shot of you and some of your "friends" and they are all beautiful women, you have failed. If you are trying to set your standards by giving an example of the type of women you consider acceptable to be seem in public with, that's not the way to do it. A woman who views that photo of you (probably looking dorky and starstruck) has already compared herself to those women. More likely than not, she has decided that that is too much competition and she will move on. What's worse than you and your entourage of bombshells? You are your "best friend" who looks much more like your babe than your bro. These photos are usually accompanied by a caption such as "my best friend and I. We're like bother and sister." Oh yeah? That's what they call it now? In addition to the previous argument, any woman who views this photo and reads the caption will also be confronted with the inevitable scrutiny of this girl should she ever meet you. Sisters are ok. Friends like sisters are much more of an obstacle. Must I explain why a photo of you with the entire staff of Hooters girls is a bad idea?
3. Make yourself desirable. You would think that this would be easy. You're single! You're young! You're putting yourself out there! You.... have no job????? Do you know what Monster.com is? I think your internet positioning system needs to be re-calibrated. Women don't want a man who is unemployed. Unless you have your life in order, you're not allowed to bask in the order of a woman's life. This is not to say that women don't understand the current state of affairs and can't accept setbacks. However, if what you put into words on a webpage is all you have to go on, you have to make it jump out and grab that special someone. Most women worth dating have the same basic expectations of men, and one of those is that he must have a job. Sure, if you meet her at a coffee shop and you turn on your charm and wit and you are looking especially dapper, she may talk to you long enough to be able to look past your broke "I'm drinking water because it's healthy" status. But this is online dating. Chances are that prospective mates are scanning over your profile quickly and as soon as they see the word "unemployed" or they read "I'm a free spirit" they will move on. So all those boxes that the website asks you to fill out to give other users a snapshot of "you" are important. Fill them out! There shouldn't even be a section entitled "get to know me first" or "prefer not to answer." Those translate into "I'm ashamed to admit because I'm really a loser and I can't even answer a simple question." It's not mysterious. It's a waste of our time.
I think three points are enough for tonight. Obviously, this won't guarantee that your inbox will be overflowing by tomorrow, but it will keep you from wasting the time of many lonely girls. Think of these as your stepping stones to your dating career! Cheers!
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