What does a girl do when she has lost her best friend? All her friends?
For three years she's been there. I'm not quite certain of when I lost who she was. But now she is completely gone from my life, it seems. Just 15 miles away. I could drive there in that many minutes, but I can't. I can't go back and live that life; buy into that pain. I can't be the backbone or the strength for the two of us. Lost, bruised, broken hearts can not lean on each other. I really don't have that strength, not the strength to change both of us.
But what do I do in the meantime?
Make myself throw up, not eat for 48 hours, eat a pint of (really bad) ice cream.
Call my parents and my brother, let the line hang with nothing to say.
Refuse a hug, a touch, a kiss. Crave one immensely.
Get a therapist.
Above all: Cry.
Sob.
Choke on my tears.
Weep behind swollen eyes.
For three years she's been there. I'm not quite certain of when I lost who she was. But now she is completely gone from my life, it seems. Just 15 miles away. I could drive there in that many minutes, but I can't. I can't go back and live that life; buy into that pain. I can't be the backbone or the strength for the two of us. Lost, bruised, broken hearts can not lean on each other. I really don't have that strength, not the strength to change both of us.
But what do I do in the meantime?
Make myself throw up, not eat for 48 hours, eat a pint of (really bad) ice cream.
Call my parents and my brother, let the line hang with nothing to say.
Refuse a hug, a touch, a kiss. Crave one immensely.
Get a therapist.
Above all: Cry.
Sob.
Choke on my tears.
Weep behind swollen eyes.
1 comment:
Hey Girlfriend its me you have not lost me I have seem to go on a long vacation on which I wish I didnt go! But I am BACK For Real!!!
I Cant leave my best friend hangin! I Love you and we both need eachother to go on with our lives! We need to go to Pirates of the carribean 2 on opening nite still! Opening nite is July 7th K I will have my phone turned bak on probably The end of this coming up week!!!!! I Love you!!!!! Thankyou for the letter and everything!
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