Will my death be painless?

I wonder...

as I lie here in anguish,

twisting and writhing

in the most unexplainable emotional pain.

To believe that there will be no beginning.

Seduced by those eyes...

those piercing, honest eyes.

(Where did you learn to look at someone like that?)

And though I wish I could,

I know that I do not know what is behind those eyes.

I take solace in the knowledge that

I fell in love with your music first...

the lyrics that speak of my heart's desires

(though I am sure that I am not the only one.)

The vocals that never grow tiring,

that never cease to make me cry,

words that heal and break.

Yet I cannot stop listening.

And I cannot stop the thoughts of you,

the glance of your eyes and

the melody of your voice,

and how my words are not enough.

Is this the hope that will be lost?

lost before it has even begun?

To know that these pains mean nothing more than feelings,

that feelings are nothing more than emotion,

to somehow forget...

To know that your love will never be mine...

is my hurt.